Still working on getting my house sale ready. I wonder if I am going too far. I’ve lived here since March of 2004, so almost 8 years. How could I have thought I kept a clean house? My bear collection was COVERED in dust. They live on the mantle over my woodstove. I never paid much attention to them, but I never heard ‘em squawk (or roar, whatever the heck they do), so I thought they were happy. They acted like they didn’t even know me … they should … they’ve seen everything I have done in my living room for years … I sure hope they don’t have a hotline to the National Enquirer. They were ecstatic to get their first baths ever today! I wish da muttz were that happy to get a bath, but at least da bears don’t roll in … well, nevermind.
So, anyway, I can’t help but wonder what it is like to live in a house for 20+ years and think that a general dusting and vacuuming every week is good ‘nuff. Cuz the stuff I have found after living here just close to 8 years is kinda disgusting. I am probably jeopardizing the sale of my house revealing this stuff, but screw it … I am human and this is funny. I found a couple dead bugs in my fridge, which I actually clean fairly often. I found a pile of dried-up dog puke behind Sammie’s sofa. I found dog poop on my back screened-in porch, and my patio furniture had bird poo on it. This is only because I had to keep the door to the porch open and install a doggie door to the entrance to my kitchen off the porch due to working 12-hr shifts out of town, and I couldn’t come home and let Sammie Sad Eyes out, like I could when I worked in the county. Follow that? Not sure I did lol.
In my defense, here is how I know I’ve kept a cleaner house than most, but definitely not as clean as those in “Southern Living” magazine. I worked as a law enforcement officer for a few years. I saw some absolutely beautiful homes, but I also saw some nasty stuff. The worst I saw was when I was serving a warrant on a female. It was a trailer or mobile home. I wasn’t even sure I was at the right place cuz none of the houses were numbered. The female that answered the door was whom I was looking for. She was very friendly, even though I told her she was under arrest. She, as a lot of peeps do, “forgot” her court date. Ok, fine, doesn’t matter … judge issued a bench warrant so I gotta take her in. She invited me in, and I obliged her. She had to get something before I took her to the magistrate … I don’t remember what.
Sorry for the stereotyping, but it was creepy in there. I had some tattooed dude come up to me and say, “I know you.” Ever since I got into LE, I hated hearing that. It’s easy for peeps to remember cops, but cops deal with so many peeps, it is hard to remember them all. The good thing is, I treated everyone with respect, ‘til they disrespected me, and the “bad guys” appreciated that. Most of the people that say they “know” me also say I arrested them and they appreciated the respect I gave them.
So anyway, when someone is under arrest, an officer must follow them around the house as they get “ready” to go to jail. I did same and saw a few kids on the floor, barely dressed, and eating ice cream out of bowls. The nasty part was there was dog poo all over the floor around them. Who does that? Seriously … I have no kids so perhaps no understanding, but who lets kids eat while sitting next to dog poo?
Bottom line is, my house is not dirty, but there are a few things that need cleaning up. I have a nice house, and I really hope someone will buy it or rent it for a few months so I can take my beloved muttz ‘cross country.