Unleash da Beast

I’ve been giggling up a storm today.  So much to do, but I only wanna do the stuff that I know will work.  Packing stuff … that works.  But what to bring?  I figured the most important thing is grub.  So I loaded the above cabinet with stuff from da house.  Then I stocked up the “spice rack:”

I couldn’t fit them all.  Granted, I will probably never use them all in the one month I will be gone, but at least I have them.  If I end up having to eat rabbit, squirrel, or who knows what else, I will be able to make them taste good …. whether it be squirrel soufflé, rabbit roast beef, or possum parmesan.  Oh, and the top shelf is reserved for Sammie … plenty of dog chow and treats.

I had three people stop by today.  One was an 80-sumpn-year-old man, the father of my neighbor (Danny), who promised to help me with the plumbing and teased me about traveling 5 miles to stay at a local campground, the grandfather to Garrett, who loved my ZekeyBoy so much.  I had helped him one night as police officer in Highlands.  The security alarm went off at his glass museum due to heavy rain.  He didn’t need to come out, but he did and drove off the road a bit, rendering his SUV in need of a tow.  I didn’t even know he was my neighbor’s relative til much later.

Then another neighbor stopped by.  My late husband had given him a ride one day and referred to him as “stinky.”  Just being honest, not mean.  He stinks.  He is on oxygen and smokes like a chimney.  And his criminal son has lived with him for years.  Said son plays “boom-boom” music at all hours of the day, keeping da ‘hood awake.  He had asked me the other day if I would go to lunch with him.  I said no.  He is very hard of hearing.  He showed up today and asked me if I was ready to go.  Again I told him no.  Here’s how he started the conversation:  “What the hell did you do with your hair after you combed it today?”  I’ve got Curly-Q-Itis, but I didn’t think it was THAT bad.  He also once told me I need to push myself away from the dinner table.  Really?  I’m skinnier than most, too skinny for that matter.  Ya, like I’m gonna go to lunch with him.  Get real, Goober.

Danny and his wife did stop by with sweet Garrett to help.  He, unfortunately, couldn’t get the hot water heater going, and he discovered a leak or two or five.  I could tell that bothered him … he is a man after all.  I offered to pull out the owner’s manual, but you know how that goes.  I appreciated his effort.  He did help me with the bike rack another neighbor gave me, so at least now I know I can take my Trek with me.  He told me what bolts, nuts, and washers to buy and said he would be back to hook it all up.  I told him I was perfectly capable, and he said, “Look … do you want the bike to arrive at the same place you do?!”  Men are so funny.  I will stroke his ego and let him hook it all up.  We all had a lotta laughs, which is most important.  I love laughing and making others laugh.

So I am loading more clothes and other stuff than I probably need, but I am trying to be reasonable.  I teased a friend and texted him saying I was packing chains for the tires, snowshoes, and a trailer full of MRE’s just in case.  I just won’t be stopped.  Yes, these leaks in the plumbing we are finding are disappointing, but that will not alter my plans.  Every campground I have reservations at has plumbing facilities.  I will be fine.

On a funny note, I went to Lowes to get the bolt and other hardware I need to hook up da bike.  My ex-employer, the sheriff’s office, was conducting a license check a half mile from my home.  The officer, whom I worked with at the SO and at Highlands PD, didn’t even recognize me til I handed him my license.  His response was even funnier.  Then on the way back they just waved me through.  I miss workin’ with those guys, but it just wasn’t meant to be I reckon.

But first, a word from our sponsor … the American flag, who is VERY excited to be joining me on my Unleash da Beast U.S. Tour.  This is an excerpt … to read it in full, please click My Name is Old Glory:

My Name Is Old Glory

I am the flag of the United States of America
My name is Old Glory.
I fly atop the world’s tallest buildings.
I stand watch in America’s halls of justice.
I fly majestically over great institutes of learning.
I stand guard with the greatest military power in the world.
Look up! And see me!
I stand for peace, honor, truth, and justice.
I stand for freedom.
I am confident . . . I am arrogant.
I am proud.
When I am flown with my fellow banners,
my head is a little higher,
my colors a little truer.
I bow to no one.
I am recognized all over the world.
I am worshipped.
I am saluted.
I am respected.
I am revered. I am loved.
And I am feared …
… My name is Old Glory.
Dear God . . . Long may I wave.

SMSgt. Don S. Miller, USAF (Ret.)

And now back for a recap of the game … Me vs. da Beastmobile Plumbing System, a fierce battle.  Due to heavy rain here in Western NC this morning, the much-anticipated match was postponed for a few hours, but come noontime, it was on.  The crowd, unfortunately, had already gone home.

Granted, I knew very little, well nearly nothing, about my opponent, but I had the interwebz on my side and had printed out a step-by-step guide on how to conquer da BM.  I hooked up a hose to fill up the fresh water holding tank, and BOOM, water began gushing out underneath the camper.  Score one for da BM.  I thought, “Oh hell, I’m doomed.”  I continued to follow the instructions I had printed.  I let the tank fill up and then turned on the pump and opened up, one by one, the sinks, shower, and toilet, to get water running through.  Well the water came through, but the pressure was poor.  There was even water gushing out of the hot water heater.  Haven’t figured that one out yet.  Water was everywhere!

So I put down some rubber mats and crawled underneath my opponent.  While this made me feel very vulnerable, I felt it was a good strategy.  I had to see where all the water was coming from.  My cheerleader, Sammie, joined me underneath the BM and licked my face in support.  I pushed her away and said, “Can’t you just shake your pompoms?”  I discovered the water was coming from two very small tubes.  I thought maybe these tubes had once been attached to each other and led to the gray water tank???  Wrong.

After some research, I learned that there should be a valve (or two or three as it turned out) to turn off.  When the last owner “winterized” da BM, he opened up said valves to empty the water tank.  Do you know how hard it was to recognize and find them?!  I found three, so maybe there were three tubes underneath.  They looked like pull pins on grenades:

If you click on the pics, you will see what I mean, I hope.  Anyway, all I had to do was push them all down, and that stopped the dang water from leaking outta the holding tank.  I was able to run all the water sources from sinks to shower to toilet, and the water pressure was great. Score one for me … tie score!  At this point, I figured I’d worked hard enough for one day so started putting things away.  Then I noticed water dripping under da BM.  I once again climbed underneath to investigate.  It looks like somebody has tried to fix said leak with 14 cans of Great Stuff insulation spray.  Score another on for da BM.  Final score 2-1.

But no worries, there will be a rematch.  I will fix that leak come hell or high … well the water is already high, but you know what I mean.

And as far as the flag, I’m not gonna drive with it sticking out like that.  I will display it in every campground I stay.  After all, what I am doing is so very American, so very free, so very brave.  But I can do it cuz I live in the greatest nation on Earth, much thanks to all who have fought for and even died for our freedom.  What an amazing sacrifice.

Oh my freaking head … THIS is why I want to camp.  My late hubby got me started in camping, and I was less than enthused.  As a child, I boated, and that was awesome, swimming with the jellyfish.  But peeing into a bucket didn’t really suit me well.  Late hubby and I plopped down $2000 for a really old Jayco pop-up trailer.  Thankfully, it had all the amenities, by that I mean a toilet and shower.  Our first trip was to Hillsborough County State Park in FL.  We entered this mosquito-infested swampland and I was like, “Oh, Lord, what was I thinking?”

Then, my old man (I hate that term, as I do “my old lady,” but it is endearing around here), set up the awning and screened-in add-a-room.  It was so cool to sit in a shaded, screened-in area and observe the true beauty that surrounded us … the woods, a creek, mosquitoes on the OTHER side of the screen … sweet.  No need for conversation.  We just listened to the sounds, smelled the damp forest, and saw the lightning bugs as they lit up.  True peace and beauty.

I haven’t pulled the awning owt yet .. I mean out … and here’s why:  I don’t know how!  But I came up with a perfect excuse.  It’s windy out.  The last thing I need is for da Beastmobile to take orbit.  Don’t get me wrong.  I want to whip that baby out and attach the screen room just to see it in all its wonder, and I reckon I will do so tomorrow.  I think I am just delaying gratification.  I’m afraid it will just be too perfect, hehe.

Also today I bought a “beginner” fishergal kit.  AND, I changed the reel on my rod.  The one on there seemed broken, and I really prefer the enclosed case doohickey.  I like to push buttons.  I did, as you can see, put the old reel in the tackle box.  I had to fill the frigger up, and I figured if I saw some handsome dude fishing, I could pull out that reel and garner huge sympathy.  “Look at this nice reel … please help me fix it … I’m hungry.”

Yup it wasn’t all that big a deal actually.  I simply purchased a 30-amp to 15-amp adaptor thingy from Wal-Mart and ran an extension cord.  I even asked the dude at Wally World to be sure I was buying the right thing.  I’m not so sure he was sure but I was pretty sure so when the cashier asked if I was sure I wanted it, I said, “Sure.” I got most of the inside lights working, still need a bulb or two. The fridge got good ‘n cold … I cleaned that up; it had mold in it … nummy nummy.

But fear not, now it is a whole bunch mo’ cleaner than the one in my kitchen, yikes.

I couldn’t get the bathroom fan working, after proudly replacing the blade all on my own, hehe.  I checked out the fuse box or utility box or breaker switches, whatever.  They confused me.  So I dunno.  I gots more learnin’ to do.  However, this little rotating fan worked like a charm:

It’s in the pic above, hooked under the cabinet.  Thing is, it also kept working AFTER I shut the electricity off.  Hmmm.  Twilight Zone.  I then looked out on the wing and saw a scary monster … oh wait, it’s a motor home, sorry.  Also under the cabinet is one of the light fixtures.  If you click on the pic, you will see I took the covers off.  I cleaned them all.  Why?  Shux, I dunno.  Cuz it kept me busy for a few minutes, made me feel useful.  I wanna pass the Good Housekeeping White Glove Test … who doesn’t?

Put up a new shower curtain and discovered something interesting:

There is a light in the shower.  I am just now realizing I didn’t check that one, nor did I clean the cover.  Dang it!  All good showers should have a well-operating light, right?  Gotta be able to find that soap when you drop it.

Oh and as a side note, I also installed a carbon monoxide detector.  Why?  Cuz I read in a book that they are very important.  Too cool … I got to use a drill, a screwdriver, and plastic anchors.  Wowzee!  I jumped for freakin’ joy when I got ‘er done!  Ya, it doesn’t take much really.  And, no, I didn’t put a level across the top of it cuz it was blatantly obvious the bubble would be nowhere near center, but so what?!

So today the electricity, tomorrow the plumbing.  That won’t be pretty … my plumbing trousers reveal way too much … well you know … what every pair of plumbing jeans reveal too much of.  Say no to crack.  But first it’s off to the garage to get that belt replaced.  What belt?  The noisy one.  That’s all I know.

And Monday, off to the RV shop.  Decided to just pay somebody to hang the doggone awning.  Super psyched, as the awning and add-a-room I’m gonna attach to it will be where I spend a good bit of time.  End of next week, I’ll be moving into Da Beastmobile for a month.  Sweeeeet!  Now if somebody would just come along and buy my house so I could leave this place for good!  Oh wait, not for good … I’ll be back for the local election of 2014.  I’ve got some unfinished bidness!