I’ve always known I was different, a little quirky, and even an oddball perhaps. I kinda like that about myself. I never fit in with any cliques, didn’t want to, but I got along with just about everybody. Besides, I don’t want to be like everyone else. I like myself just the way I am; how many people can truly say that?
I took a Facebook Smackdown last night at the fingertips of a young lady whose daddy asked me out on a date. I’ve never met the girl, but that’s just a mere technicality cuz according to her, she knows all about me. She says I am “batshit crazy” and that she must approve who her daddy sees cuz her daddy deserves a good woman (or something to that effect). I can’t argue with her first and last point. But she said “batshit crazy” like it’s a BAD thing?! Ouchie.
Truthfully, I am human (with a li’l bit of bat blood in me of course), and it hurt me at first that someone who has never even met me would call me such a thang, but then I remembered it doesn’t really matter what she or anyone else thinks of me. My self-worth is based solely on what I think of myself, and I, quite frankly, think I’m pretty awesome – for realz!.
I get such a kick out of people calling me crazy and miserable and all the other not-so-nice terms, so much so that when it happens, I proceed to take on their description of me to the millionth-fold … just to make them think they are right. Why bother trying to change their closed minds? Not a one has ever come to me and asked my side of anything cuz they all know everything already … or so they think. So screw it, I go for the shock factor and say really off-the-wall and sometimes nasty things. Why not? I might as well have some fun with the lashings I get, right?! It ain’t like we’re gonna be friends … ever … just Facebook friends, which cracks me up cuz they call me names but keep me as a FB friend. Kinda twisted, don’t ya think? Amusing anyway. I made up a saying once that got quite a few laughs. It was, “Hey, come on, we’re all Facebook friends,” which we all know means nothing more than we peek into each other’s lives on a daily basis through a computer screen and many make judgments solely on what we see. Whoops, got off track.
Ya so, fo’ shizzle, what is “batshit crazy” anyway? I needz some street cred, bitches. I reckon I’ve heard the term before but not as it applies to me. So I looked it up … not in my Webster’s Dictionary. Thankfully, I found the Urban Dictionary online, cuz there just ain’t enough words in the world, we gotta make up our own. Here’s the rather long definition of “batshit crazy,” with my sidenotes in black:
A person who is batshit crazy is certifiably nuts. Hmmm, I wonder how that chick is qualified to determine that I am certifiably nuts, especially without ever having met me. Sounds like she’s got a great future as a shrink if she can diagnose someone without leaving the ‘puter. She should be quite proud. The phrase has origins in the old-fashioned term “bats in the belfry.” Not gonna try to mislead anyone … I dunno what a belfry is, but if it’s anything like a French fry, bring on the ketchup baby … yum.
Old churches had a structure at the top called a belfry, which housed the bells. Oh dang, hold da Heinz. I get it now – a belfry is what is known to me as a steeple. Bats are extremely sensitive to sound and would never inhabit a belfry of an active church where the bell was rung frequently. I’m not sensitive to sound, just sensitive to some of the idiotic things some people say, but I get over it quickly and turn it into a humorous blog post. Occasionally, when a church was abandoned and many years passed without the bell being rung, bats would eventually come and inhabit the belfry. I wonder if we pay for that BAT (bells are tollin’) study through taxes, wouldn’t surprise me. So, when somebody said that an individual had “bats in the belfry” it meant that there was “nothing going on upstairs” (as in that person’s brain). Yes, I’m sure y’all can tell there’s nothing going on in my brain. In fact, I am pretty sure my brain was surgically removed years ago. It’s a wonder I am able to type through all the drool on my keyboard. To be BATSHIT CRAZY is to take this even a step further. Oh gosh, this doesn’t sound good at all. A person who is batshit crazy is so nuts that not only is their belfry full of bats, but so many bats have been there for so long that the belfry is coated in batshit. Hence, the craziest of crazy people are BATSHIT CRAZY. Well no darn wonder my Degree deodorant has failed me, it ain’t BODY odor, it’s frickin’ BATSHIT. And I’ve had the nerve to get upset with Sammie Sad Eyes for rolling in horse poo.
Dudes and Dudettes, I think y’all would understand … I gotta go take a shower. I hope you enjoyed this tongue-in-cheek post. The bottom line is not matter what ANYONE thinks of me or any of you for that matter, repeat after me:
So while I sometimes participate in the drama cuz it’s kinda fun to mess with peeps, the above stands. I am gonna shine! And haters gonna hate. Have a great weekend, y’all!