Do I look like a badass warrior chick? Had some lady on the side of the road paint my face like Mel Gibson’s in Braveheart. Oddly, since the very moment she finished glopping me up, I’ve been speaking with an Australian accent … it’s kinda sexy, actually! From now on, I shall be called Queen Boudica (or Bouddica — I’ve seen it spelled both ways), or if that’s too hard to remember, howzabout Queen Bootylicious, cuz I don’t think Boudica was Australian.
Jus’ being silly … I’m exhausted, even though I did drink one of my famous supa powa shakes before the race. I sold my doggone blender, but my neighbor, whom I affectionately refer to as Ma Kettle, gave me this new one absolutely free of charge:
Pretty sweet, huh? In the cup I put some almond milk, a scoop of protein powder, two scoops of Jack3d, a banana, blueberry yogurt, and some crushed ice. I flipped it over and hooked it up, but I couldn’t get the blender to turn on. I was thinking, “Oh my freakin’ head, you get what you pay for, or in this case, don’t pay for.” There was a caution statement on it saying everything had to be on just right or it wouldn’t work (for my safety, of course). So I tried to unscrew the base, but …
I unscrewed the cup instead … typical. Well, there was no way I was gonna run this race without my “go juice.” Desperate times called for desperate measures:
Howzabout a nice bowl of vomit? Not really but quite a resemblance, doncha think?
The electric mixer was no match for the crushed ice, and … I later found out … not much of a match for the banana either:
Ew … chunks. I am a self-professed picky eater. Fruits and veggies are not my thang. I don’t like bananas, but I like ‘em liquefied up into a smoothie; I don’t like tomatoes, but I love tomato sauce and ketchup; I don’t like coffee, but hand me a bowl of coffee ice cream and I’ll devour it; and blueberries … yuck, but blueberry muffins … YUM! I could go on forever. Thankfully, the ice in the powa shake gave the nanner chunks a sort of ice cream feel, so I was able to choke ‘em down.
Oh yea, so the race … this is the fine, young man who organized the event, Dave Linn. I have a lot of admiration for Dave, as he has overcome some big obstacles in his life but always maintains a positive attitude. Love his shirt here:
Oh and just before the race started, this lady serenaded us with her bagpipes:
I usually cry when I hear bagpipes … love ‘em, but Warrior chicks don’t cry … we’re tough … sheesh! Thank God she didn’t play Amazing Grace! That would’ve been it for this Queen Boudica. I would’ve surrendered to the Romans instantly.
The race started, and somehow I ended up way in the back. Or at least it seemed like a lot of runners got ahead of me. I thought, “sh*t,” but maintained my strategy of starting off at a slow-to-moderate pace instead of balls to the wall. I kept reminding myself that this was my first race and it was me against me … not me against the other runners. Ya, whatever lol. Not gonna lie … I don’t like running and never have. It is not a normal part of my fitness regimen. The course had a fairly long, steadily climbing hill in the second half. I had to stop and walk some … wah, wah, wah.
Here I am at the end … it felt very good to be done, especially cuz I knew I’d never hafta do it again.
Don’t get me wrong, I am glad I ran it. I just doubt I will ever run another. I had a respectable finish for a nonrunner … 4th female in my age group (medals only for first through third, though, pooey). If I counted correctly, I was the 10th female over the finish line out of 42 total female runners, and finished 30th out of 80 total runners. My time was 25 minutes and 33 seconds. Had hoped to get under 25, but dems da breaks.
This guy, Wallace, came in last place in the race … the caboose … but came in first place in my heart:
He was awesome! Wallace is 83 years old and ran it in a li’l over 51 minutes. He’s a tough dude. I was told it took him over an hour to run it last year, so he has improved greatly since then!
I did score a pretty cool T-shirt for running the 5K:
And I do believe this warrior chick has earned a nap … off to La La Land y’all … hot diggety!