Sometimes I feel like the lioness in this pic … figuratively AND literally, flies all over the poor kitty, even drinking water from her eyes.  Last year about this time, I had an issue in da BeastHouse with flies.  I dunno what kinda flies these are; they have some green coloring.  Maybe they are:


Green Bottle flies.  Thank you, Wikipedia.  I’m just glad they are not the greenheads I remember when boating up north that bit harder than horseflies and invaded the cabin on our trips back after a great weekends of fun in the sun.  This one looks all purty just a sittin’ on that purple flower.  But his extended family has invaded my back porch with a vengeance.  Bzzzzzzzzzzzbzzzzzbzzz:


Along with other sordid creatures … wasps and bumble bees.  This is a screened-in porch, but I have something holding the door open cuz it leads to the doggie door that Sammie Sad Eyes uses when she’s not manipulating me into opening da house doors for her.  I used to keep my trash just outside of the screened porch.  I figured that was what was attracting these icky creatures so I moved the trash, but they are back this year, multiplied several fold.  I fired off a bug bomb, which killed a bunch and promised to keep killing for a few months.  Hmmm.  I have about a 50/50 mixture of live and dead right now.  I guess the live ones are the “flying dead,” on their last wings, per se.  When I suck ‘em up in the vacuum, I don’t dare bring it back into the house without disposing of the vacuum bag, for fear they will multiply inside the bag and eat me while I sleep.

So who else is pickin’ on me ‘sides these awful thangs?!  Well … it be Corporate America:


Howzdat for an attention grabber, hehe.  No, it’s not me!  I can’t say much, but through LegalZoom, I applied with the United States Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) for a trademark on my website name and my logo.  I did a boatload of research and paid a lotta dough.  I got an e-mail yesterday stating that Monster Energy Company has filed, and I quote, “A notice of opposition to the registration sought by the above-identified application.”  I got a big ole envelope in the mail today … you’d think it would’ve been sent certified, but it wasn’t:


Monster Energy Company v.   Well, shit, that’s ME!  Without saying much, I did a LOT of research into trademarking, and I was well aware that Monster Energy Company uses Unleash the Beast as a slogan.  However, my business plan, or lack thereof, has NOTHING to do with energy drinks.  Sometimes, like all of us I do believe, I lack confidence.  I thought about just saying, “Screw it … I don’t have a good plan right now …  I’m just gonna give it up.  I can’t possibly go up against a big company like this.”  I did, however, say to a friend, “This is just corporate bullying at its finest.  A legal department just trying to keep busy, justify their jobs.”  I mean, it’s not like I made THIS pic:


I found that online, and I tend to doubt it is a real Monster ad, but maybe it is???  “Now with 50% more ass sweat and camel piss than other leading energy drinks!”  Nice.  I would think that would damage their business far more than a li’l gal just trying to make some folks laugh and think positively.  I admit, I haven’t done my research.  Maybe this IS a real Monster ad, but if it is, it ain’t the road I plan to travel.  Ass sweat I’m notta sellin’, and I sure as hell don’t have access to any camel piss.


I woke up this morning and thought, “Man, I need some good news today.”  I got on Facebook and saw that a lawyer named Joe Escalante was going to be answering legal questions for the above-referenced company, so I bit.  Here’s what happened, gonna copy and paste:

Me to Attorney Escalante:

Good Morning, Attorney Escalante:  Through the services of LegalZoom, I applied for a trademark of my website I recently received notification from USPTO that Monster Energy Company has filed “a notice of opposition to the registration sought by the above-identified application.” Do I even have a chance? My blog has nothing to do with energy drinks. Thank you kindly for your time. — Jennifer Leandro ”

His answer:


Barely Legal Radio w/ Joe Escalante:

To me, that phrase has been used too much before the dumb drink used it to allow them to protect it from all uses. It was the name of my 7th favorite Saxon LP as a matter of fact.

Monster could protect it in the beverage area, but what they’re doing to you, with your innocent blog, is nothing more than trademark bullying. I recommend posting this question on and we’ll make a stink about it on my radio show and shame them a bit. They may back off then. If not, you should fight them. But there will be costs.  Maybe Saxon will play a benefit for your legal fees.

In the meantime, I will have my producer contact Monster and see if they want to come on the show to defend their petty legal B.S.

So this guy is outta Los Angeles.  I did follow up and send the posting to his website.  I only hope he does the same and shames Monster Energy Company a bit.  Hell, I ain’t out to hurt them.  This is America … I just want the American dream, and it certainly does not involve energy drinks … for me anyway.

As the NatureBoy Ric Flair sez , “I’m a limousine ridin’, jet flyin’, kiss stealin’, wheelin’ dealin’ son of a gun. WOOOO!!”  Well, I’m not yet … but I will be.

  3 Responses to “Why’s Everybody Always Pickin’ On Me?!”

  1. wowzer!! Hope it works out for you!

  2. Based on what I’ve studied, I don’t think they have a chance. I just dunno how much it will cost me to prove so.

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