I’ve never read, “Fifty Shades of Grey,” but I reckon I could write “Fifty Shades of Batshit Crazy!”  Maybe someday I will write it as a play and perform a one-person show on Broadway, with bats flying overhead and me just being myself.  Would you come see it?!

already disturbed

I have, however, been taking many steps lately to better myself and my life … feels sorta like a last-ditch attempt.  I changed my Facebook personal profile into a Facebook page for Unleash da Beast.  I waste WAY too much time on Facebook, and for what?  At least as a page, I don’t have the stream (or news feed) of other peeps’ posts to read through.  If I want to see what peeps are posting, it will take some effort, and quite frankly, I know myself enough to know I won’t make the effort.  Nothing good comes of it.  Let’s face it, Facebook friendship is laughable to an extent.  Facebook is great for keeping in touch with TRUE friends and family and sharing pictures and promoting a blog or something, but for me for the most part, it’s a place where 80% of my FB friends aren’t my friends in “real” life, and we all just enjoy sticking our noses in other peoples’ lives.  It ain’t worth it.  To the 20% who ARE family and TRUE friends, I mean no offense.  It is what it is.

On a funny note, some time last year I was in a class with some fellow law enforcement officers.  If anyone knows LEO’s, they know that there isn’t much we won’t say.  Somebody clammed up about a certain subject, so I said, “Aw come on … we’re all FACEBOOK friends here!”

You wouldn’t believe how much I’ve gotten done this morning because of this change.  Me likey!  As my mom used to say, “I’m accomplishing miracles!”


My dream is to get back in da Beastmobile, travel around the country, and write, as you all know.  Something has been stopping me from making it happen … fear I reckon.  So while I should be writing a book or doing whatever it takes to get my house sold, I spend hours upon hours surfin’ the web, 90% of that time on Facebook, which is not healthy for my soul.  It has to stop.  I need to focus better.  I’ve wasted too much time already.  That said, I still feel as though everything happens for a reason and I am doing precisely what I am supposed to be doing. Maybe that’s just an excuse.


I haven’t been shy or secretive about my struggle with alcohol addiction.  Alcohol – cunning, baffling, and powerful.  Some say I’m weak.  Yea I guess.  Anyway, spending time drinking is definitely not conducive to achieving my goals and fulfilling my dreams.  Not to mention the disastrous things that I do when I drink – I am my own worst enemy!  This is the truth right here for alcoholics:


So I gave it up (again).  I enlisted the help of my doctor, who prescribed Antabuse and Campral – Campral to reduce the cravings and Antabuse to make me violently ill if I drink.  If that isn’t enough to stop me then … hmmm I dunno.  Been sober for 10 days.  Here’s to hoping for:

Freedom From Addiction

This blog post is a bit of test.  I want to see if it shows up on the FB page like it’s supposed to or if I need to do some tweaking.  I want to name the FB page Unleash da Beast as opposed to what it is now … my name, but I had to ask permission from the Facebook Gods.  Still waiting for an answer.  An e-mail from them indicated it could take three days.  They must be busy accomplishing miracles.

Well … time to carry on and build some foundations:


Y’all take care!

  6 Responses to “Yea, Yea … I get the BSC thing!”

  1. Glad to hear you are really getting serious about your addiction. Good luck, only YOU can make it happen.

  2. Thank you for the refreshing blog psot. Most people don’t get addiction if they have never struggled with it in their own lives. I struggle with food addiction. Yeah ,go ahead and laugh. Do some studying up on it people. It is real. Why do u think obesity is so out of control here in the good ole USA? It is hard to admit that you have a problem but to finally admit it and want to change…that takes guts of steel. You go girl!

  3. Way to go on never giving up. We are all a work in progress!

    • Thanks, Becky … I am itching to get back on the road really badly. I thought it was just drunken thoughts lol, but they are just as strong sober. May just hafta follow that dream and hope for the best!

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